Yesterday I was baking cookies for Isaac’s first grade class cookie exchange.  As I was adding all the sugar cookie ingredients to the bowl, childhood memories flooded my mind.  I had baked these same cookies with my mother for Christmas as a kid.  Even as a child, I looked forward to making Christmas cookies with my children.  Instead my stomach was in knots.  I was trying to make these cookies without letting Nathaniel get in the kitchen and taste them since he is on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet.  All those ideas of baking sugar cookies with my kids flew out the window.

That is not my family.

I see families all around me going out to dinner at restaurants or going grocery shopping together.  It is those everyday mundane activities that you never thought would be so challenging.  What has gotten me choked up before are those Disney World commercials.  (I don’t know why because I am not particularly a big fan of Disney World.  We also do not have TV but I saw a commercial once and it is branded on my brain.)  It is just the contrast of other families as they show their family videos of them breaking the news to their kids that they are going to Disney World and they just pack-up and go.

That is not my family.

I can easily get caught up in the “that is not my family” syndrome.  Believe me, I allow this to happen more than I would like.  We recently were at our annual church family retreat.  Every year the whole church goes to Lake Swan Camp and we have Bible studies and fun activities for everyone over a coarse of 3 days and 3 nights.  It is here that I struggle a lot with “that is not my family” syndrome.   I was pregnant with many of the women when I was expecting Nathaniel.  I had daydreamed about our children growing up together and playing with each other.  Many times I end up in tears about the “what if’s” and feeling sorry for myself because that is not my family.

This time at the retreat God spoke to me.  I had a vision of me standing at a fence looking out, desperately wanting and thinking I should be on the other side.  He told me, “That is not your  family.  Stop looking out and turn around and see how free you are.”   It was like a heavy weight had been taken off my shoulders.

Do not get me wrong, I LOVE my family.  I am proud to be Ryan’s wife and Nathaniel, Isaac, Noah & Joseph’s mother.  It is just that I had ideas of family activities we would do and how we would function together as a family.  I had determined what my family was going to look like long before I even had a family.  How silly of me.  God is defining my family.  Each member was specifically placed in this family to help build each other up and to help us to become who Christ is calling us to be.

So let me tell you about my family.

We are figuring out  what works for us.  I am not exactly sure what our family will look like in the years to come but time will tell.  While we may not be baking sugar cookies together for Christmas, we are baking pecan flour cookies.  Ryan mentioned of roasting marshmallows  in the fireplace with the boys so I will be making SCD marshmallows!   We are setting up family traditions that work for our family rather than trying to keep the traditions that are not practical for the WHOLE family.

You will not catch us at Disney World anytime soon.  That is not the “happiest place on earth” for us.  It would be quite the opposite.  You will probably catch us playing the Kinect on the weekends as a family instead.  That way we can all go bowling or do track & field and have a good time.  All of this is to say, I am trying to look around and see what works for our family rather than have our family fit a particular mold.  This is love for my whole family.

I continually see stories about mother’s helping their children with autism.  They truly are making a difference; there is no doubt about it!  What I do not see often enough are stories about all the amazing dad’s out there.  So I thought I would tell you about an amazing dad that I happen to know very well. 

Ryan has been such a wonderful support to our family & me.  His loving support pushes me on to trying new things to help Nate.  WE are recovering our son from autism.  There is no way I could not do it all on my own.

There are times that I feel beat down.  Those days that Nate is very OCD (circle sprinkler, fan sprinkler, system sprinkler…you get my point) and it seems like progress is moving like molasses.  (This is mostly due to being with him all the time and forgetting how far he has come.)  Ryan understands this and he immediately offers to watch the kids so I can get out of the house.  I know that may sound like a little thing but it is HUGE.  Before you know it I am ready to hear about sprinklers all day long and Ryan (after a long day at work) is building sprinkler systems just for Nate in the backyard.

When Nate bangs his head at night, Ryan, will get up and rub his head and pray for him.  (Nate does not bang his head as much as he used to but it still happens every now and then.  We still do not know why.)  He never is upset to be woken in the middle of the night but is more concerned about Nate’s well being.

If I read some research on autism and think we should try something or go a particular direction then he supports me.  He wants to learn why and wants to get educated himself.  I still love it when he explains how the Specific Carbohydrate Diet works.  Don’t even get me started on when he talks about the difference between mono-saccharides and polysaccharides.  (I know, I am a dork.)

One of the best things about Ryan is that he continually is reminding me of the BIG picture.  This is just a season.  Today he may be stuck on “sprinklers” but tomorrow it may be “fans”. ( Haha!)  He has made me laugh no matter what the day has brought and he has helped me to dream when I was afraid to dream.  He has been a wonderful husband, father (of soon to be 4 boys!), lover, friend and teammate that I could have ever asked for.

Thank you, Ryan, for all that you have done for our family.  You still continue to amaze me.  I love you.  Happy Father’s Day!

There is a way to overcome Autism and it is helping kids every day.  The solution is the Son-Rise program.  The program is an intensive, home based therapy program for autistic children.  It works, Nathaniel is improving every month but the cost is high and we need help.  For details please visit www.son-rise.org

In cooperation with Helping Hands – Conquer Autism Now (HH-CAN) we are holding a special April Fool’s Day event to raise money so Nathaniel and other autistic children can experience this life-giving program.  The event will be a dance held at the American Legion Hall on April 1^st from 7:30 pm to 11:30 pm and will feature Tallahassee’s own ACME Rhythm and Blues band.  We will also be conducting a silent auction, a Chinese raffle, and will be serving complimentary home-baked desserts.

The money raised at the event will go towards an “Intensive Therapy Training” program held at the Autism Treatment Center of America.  We will be flying Nathaniel along with 2 of our top volunteers to Sheffield, Massachusetts to receive this training with us.  We will receive hands-on training 8 hours each day for 5 days at the Autism Treatment Center of America.  True to the programs name; it is a very intense week of training.  We are hoping to raise $15,000.  This will cover Nathaniel’s tuition as well as the travel expenses for Nathaniel, his parents and his volunteers.

HH-CAN! (Helping Hands- Conquer Autism Now) has agreed to establish a special account for Nathaniel.  HH-CAN was created to help lessen the financial burden of families with autistic children by providing scholarships for medical and educational purposes. Sponsorships and other donations can be designated for the benefit of Nathaniel.  When these are designated, a percentage of the funds will be set-aside for Nathaniel and the remainder will be placed in a fund to help other autistic children.  All donations are tax deductible.

There are many benefits to you sponsoring this event.  There are four levels of sponsorship available:  We hope one is right for you.

Platinum  $500

• A personalized appreciation plaque awarded to your business at the event
• Business name or logo displayed on a banner at the event
• Business signs or literature displayed on sponsor table
• Sponsor name listed in the event program
• 4 event tickets

Gold    $250

• Business name or logo displayed on a banner at the event
• Business signs or literature displayed on sponsor table
• Sponsor name listed event program
• 4 event tickets

Silver   $150

• Business signs or literature displayed on sponsor table
• Sponsor name listed on event program
• 2 event tickets

Bronze  $75

• Sponsor name listed on event program
• 2 tickets to the event.

Will you help us defeat Autism in Nathaniel and others?  These past two years he has shown immense progress and we are ready to take his therapy to the next level.  Please view the progress Nathaniel has made on this website.  For any questions or concerns, please contact us at FindingNathaniel@gmail.com.

Any donations can be made out to HH-CAN and mailed to:

1906 Buford Blvd Ste 3

Tallahassee, Fl 32308

FindingNathaniel@gmail.com

Nathaniel's current Son-Rise Team

Last week in the playroom as Nate was eating his “Hamburger and fries” (Turkey and butternut squash) at the table, sitting on a red chair, I was showing him Isaac’s new Star Wars alphabet book. He asked for the number puzzle from the session prior. After getting it down and removing the puzzle piece numbers 0-9 Nate revealed his knowledge of numbers by identifying the ones I held up. We did this several times. Very cool! Nate knows numbers!

After our team meeting I chose a new personal playroom goal, helping Nate identify the first letter of his name, “N” for Nate. After the session today I’ll have to pick a new goal. I cut an N out of construction paper and Nate identified it correctly without a prompt. Nate knows N! Today he also identified the number 14 from a card.

What other goals should I work toward with him? If my role in the playroom is this clear then what do I do first? There are so many choices. Do I teach him T for tornado or do I try and get him to spell dog D-O-G. We have so much work to do for this young boy and yet each little revelation that our therapy is working leads us to ask ourselves what goal we should pick next. I am showing him the world a piece at a time, which part do I show him first?